How Much?

This is actually the weirdest song that I can relate to the events that happen in the past 36hours. It's kinda like a strange dream. So surreal.

17th of December, 2008. 1200 hour

I was at home at that time and I was pressurized to check my SAM results online. Technically, I believe that there's no point to do so. You still do not have the certificate required to enter a degree course in hand and would still need to go down to the college campus to get it. So I chose to get my grade report cum SACE document the very next day. But my friends have been pestering me for the digits that would ultimately determine our future and I continue to "shake them off".

At night, we went to watch a movie, Yes Man, in a nearby cinema. Among the company was a friend who also took SAM but at Taylor College. He've checked his results and was eager to know mine. He even volunteered to check it for me via WAP cum handphone internet. Another friend said that we could use his N82 to go online via Wi-Fi and check the results when we want. Oh great. Mobile phones can really be a tool of destruction at time. But I stubbornly refused them and we went for the movie right after our chat at a mamak shop.

18th of December, 2008. 0900 hour

I woke up to a call. It was my friend TC who asked whether I was going to get my grade report already. Apparently he got his and left the institution already before I reached the place at 1100 hour. Deng, I missed an appointment. I'm really sorry, pal.

It was 0100hour after the movies. My second late-night movie session, the first one in Genting. We went to KL to just take a spin. Yea, we spent precious car fuel travelling about KL to kill time. I felt asleep in my pal's car while they were chatting about our secondary school life. Heck I don't even want to remember those days when my head was close to bald and I lived in a Chinese-orientated school environment, which I've fearfully deal with in INTI Nilai. And it was this reason, spending the night in a car that made me late for my appointment.

There, I've met my neighbours: Cheng and Eldwin, January-intake students such as Ruby and Yi Wen. I do felt sad that I've not met any from my class except Rupinder, but she was so mentally occupied that my greeting felt on deaf ears. I did get more information to study after SAM from the Head of Programme(s) and also officers of the University Placement Office. Not knowing what to do after getting my results, I followed the gang to Alamanda, Putrajaya. Ken Loon, my schoolmate and a coursemate met us there in Alamanda. We had bowling, then we watched movie, Yes Man. For the first time in my life, I watched a movie twice in a day, less than 24 hours interval. It was a great movie, but I cannot believe that I really pull the act and watched it twice.

By the end of the day, I suggested to Cheng and Eldwin to stay over at my place. They were planning to overnight in the car and I strongly discourage them as I've tried that and I suffered.
So we had mamak food for dinner (two meals at mamak shop in a row) and then close in for the night. And just a while ago, the pair left for Subang Jaya. I'll surely miss them. (I'm not homosexual, but I'm gay about meeting them in INTI)

Now, I'm troubled by my parents who enquires me regarding my future. Such a pain in the neck.

Oh yea, I did okay for my SAM results, but I did not achieve my aim of getting TER 99. So I guess it's a no-no for studying at Monash University.

Sad.

Euphoric Field

It's an important day for many of us SAM students because the results are out today! I've been told that many of my classmates got TER 90 and above. I've bet they must be pretty satisfied with their results. Me? I can't bear to look at my results online but I'd rather see them printed in black and white. Typical me. So I guess I'll go down to Nilai tomorrow to get my certificate. And maybe I get to chat with the lecturers and counselors.

It's amazing how the digits that appears on this certificate is going to determine where I'm heading next year, aboard or local. Yea, I desperately wanna go overseas to study, but it's a dream that cannot be realized that easily. There are prices to pay to make it come true.

So let's hope that my SAM results will be a bliss. And that goes to everyone who is studying or awaiting their results.

Busy Being Fabulous

Not that I'm a pretty boy whatsoever, but I have somehow grew tired of the endless commotion and complication in my daily life. I don't think such merry urban lifestyle is suited for me. Gotto blame this snail-like internet connection for my mood today. Makes my internet browsing (and manga reading) experience a pain in the ass. And the eyes and neck too.

Let's first talk about the volunteers' briefing for the much anticipated ComicFiesta. I had to say, the organizing committee did quite a bad job in managing us, the volunteers. Not only did they not provide a suitable meeting place (Sunway Pyramid's McDonald is way too crowded for 50 youngsters to have a meeting), but they also did a bad job in giving us details regarding our duties on the event itself. I went and met them for like 45 minutes, then I was good to go. In fact, most of the time I spent waiting for a member of the committee group to attend to us 'security guards'. Yea, I got a pose as the guard dog. And there I was hoping to be able to be closer to the organizing committee or the 'doujins'.

Later that day, I went to Monash University's Open Day. Yeah, it was (suprisingly) crowded. I was glad that I was able to talk to the lecturer but I was also sad because the head of programme was no where around. Yet, on this day only I've came to realize that my choice of course is seriously jeopradize as it is under restructuring, which leads to prefer studying aboard. However, it is not possible financially unless I take many, many study loans, which of course would make a an indebted student even before I started working and buy a house, or a car (makes me feel like I'm being targeted by loan sharks).

Further that day it rained so heavily that I was forced to take shelter in Sunway Pyramid, 15 minutes walk from Monash (under intense heat condition which made me all sweaty and disgust of myself). And my plans to go to the PC Fair was also washed away just like that. So sad. I really wanna go to the PC Fair in KLCC to buy a laptop, except that I don't even have the money to buy one. Grrr... I can't comprehend why others do not face financial problems as severe as mine. At least I do not know anyone that suffers so. I've always thought that I managed my money well and I hate to show everyone or anyone that my wallet is empty, which of course many of my classmates would have seen that before.

Someone did suggest to me to get a part-time job. I'm okay with that, except my fears from my first and last job still haunts me (others can hardly understand). Sob T.T It's a little hard to believe that money can be a HUGE problem for someone borned in the month of May, the horoscope for the stigiest personality.

Triangular (Fight on Stage!)

Now it begins. A fight for knowledge and power. A decision to make. A lifetime to regret.

What course should I uptake? Can I afford it?

Now I'm back at the crossroads again, with my back behind a recent matriculation course. Do you know how long it took me to make up my mind, to choose SAM course out of all the other options available? At least two whole month. Wonder how much hair I've lost due to the stress I was having that time. Still, I can't really say that my interest lays in Environmental Science. Well, after after all the study on environmental chemistry and ecology, I found out that I do concern about Nature, except that I fear my passion would die out fast: I'm a quitter.

The second idea I'm concerned about is ComicFiesta 2008, which will be held next weekend. Hope that it will be a really bash like how I've anticipated to be, though I'm sure it is inferior compare to Anime Festival Asia 2008 in Singapore. I was actually selected to be a volunteer in the event. (in fact, all those who applied was accepted unconditionally) So I do hope that I can witness a new frontier in Malaysia's comic industry. Let's pray for it to be a huge success.

"Money concerns" is one of my friend's motto. Now it will also be mine as I struggle to survive this holidays with no money. Eiks, I still owed Edwin 10 bucks. Do remind me about it. I don't have enough money to fix my mobile phone, which means I cannot upload my photo. You know it's rare for me to have photos on myself. I hate the camera for many unspoken reasons you will never know.

Like always, I'll be at home killing time to reduce further injury to my bleeding wallet. I guess I'll start off by reading Eragon, the first book of the trilogy. I've read the second book and it was totally dissapointing. Yet, I've already purchased the first book. So, there is no point critisizing about it anymore, right?

Happy holidays~! (I'm sure many had already begun enjoying their holiday break last month)

DOGFIGHT

It's been more than 2 weeks since I've last posted. Well, I know I was wrong for not updating. Been killing time doing... practically nothing. That's why I say my life is meaningless. I just dunno what was I doing all this while, these 18 years...

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Firstly, right after the exams, me and my classmates went to Genting Highlands for a 3D2N trip. You could tell that I was forced to go. Come on, a person who has minor acrophobia and has little interest in thrilling rides would have no reasons to go up there, right? But then again, since ALMOST all of the clique was going, so I guess I better go. Peer pressure. The main factor that cause delinquency.

Other than the cable car ride, I cannot seem to justify why was I here. Seriously I was dead bored. Imagine how boring was I that I was walking and exploring the place at 4am in the morning. Furthermore, I spent at least 8 hours of solitude, walking all alone even though there was 12 of us in Genting.

Oh yea, for the very first time, I actually ate without paying. Although Genting Cooperation maybe extremely rich, but I feel a little guilty for sneaking into the dining area without paying. Xp

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Oh yea, I went to PD last week. Well, the seawater looked less polluted as compared to the past. But there was something that happened which I think I should say it out loud. You see, my friend caught two fishes from the sea and wanted to bring back home. However, only after half an hour, the fishes have already died and I was asked to throw them out of the car window. Soon after that, we realized that we took the wrong way (old way) and we ended up traveling another 2 hours just to get back to Kajang. I seriously felt afraid... well, mainly because it was dark, I killed two lives and we cannot exactly determine where we were. Luckily we made it back to Kajang in one piece and I managed to attend my friend's b-day party, though I was an hour late. XD
I wanna upload photos on the sea that I loved, the nature that I like to embrace, yet my phone seems to disapprove my action. It doesn't let the computer to read its data. Selfish, isn't it?

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And this wednesday, us SAM student had a barbeque party. The worst part was it rained from 8pm to 12am. So technically we BBQ under the rain. Though it wasn't pleasant at all, but I am sure that it was the best BBQ party I had under the RAIN. =.=
The funny part is that some of our lecturers attended the party, only to get drenched, partially because of the rain, but mostly due to water balloons, I strongly suspect. The scene looked more like a dogfight than a BBQ party. Totally horrible, unbearable. And guess who do all the cleaning up. Me, again. At least this time I'm not alone. My friends (some) did their part too.

Another surprising fact is on how all the participants, both students and lecturers actually behaved on the event, makes me wonder have I really know these people. Gosh, their true colours are just too HORRIFYING for me to bear and watch, so I ended up continue to BBQ in the comfort of my 'safety zone'. Hey, there are even freeloaders that stop in my personal space for protection from the water attack of others, causing me to get wet too :(

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So, off I go rushing my Moral assignments. I really wanna plagarize, but that would totally go against my principle. I bet I would not be able to sleep peacefully if I were to do so. Anyway, now that I've done 2 assignments, I still need to rush another 3. Yet, the due date for all assignments is today. I'm really awed by the fact that we SAM March intake student are extremely good at procastination, particularly delaying our assignments. Xd

Photograph

Whoever invented the (digital) camera is making my life miserable. I hate cameras. There are always there when you don't wanna get recorded for doing something shameful. And it's not available when you want something memorable to be recorded. Photogenic or not, that is another factor to consider when there is an image recorder present.

And so my classmates just kept taking photos after our final public exam paper. Yes, SAM course is officially over (but not for all though). I sure feel relieved now that the exam pressure have disappear. But there is something that intrigues me. Most of us SAM students have not had their lunch and have to bear with their roaring (I really meant roaring) stomachs during the 3 hour and 10 minutes period. Yet, when the exams over, none of them seemed to be hungry anymore. I do guess extreme joy can really ease all sufferings, including empty stomach. Too bad I can never feel the same. Pessimistic me.

Guess now I can do whatsoever I want, but I most probably do what other youths do with their long-term holidays-- rot at home. Yea, I've no idea how I'm gonna spend my holidays. There's this camp that needs facilitators, ComicFiesta2008 in Sunway and also the Genting trip this weekend. There goes my holiday, not to mention the (virtually) piling MPW assignments. No rest, but there's more work. Is this what you call a holiday!?

I'm Yours

After my English exam, I felt as if all of my hopes and dreams have been shattered to pieces and the undertaker is already at the doorstep of my hostel's room. I've just blew up my chances, if there was any in the first place, to get a better exam score. I know that I shouldn't be so materialistic or pessimistic, but in reality, I have really ruin all the opportunities that were given to me, all in one shot. This is just pathetic.

I didn't get the ASEAN scholarship, neither was I offered any other incentives to further study. The world's economy is down and Obama just made the news headlines (what Obama has to do with your degree course?). Either way, I'm now back at the crossroads again, only this time, I do not have any worthy qualifications to boost my chances for a better future. Heck, is this something I should be worried about?

I guess I better off be studying for my Chemistry and Biology paper, right? I must have been thinking a little too far. All the pressure have been driving my up the wall. I gotto stop thinking such nuisance and just focus on my current aim in scoring SAM. Well, I'm better off so.

Hidden Track

Do you guys know that there's only 10 days to the beginning of my public exams, which gonna last approximately 2 weeks. It's been very, very tough on me. I don't usually study... yet peer pressure is driving me up the wall. I can find no peace except in my dreamland. This is just too much for me to bear.

I've learnt the I need to achieve 99% TER to get full scholarship from Monash. Shocking! This adds so much more to the burden I'm having already. Furthermore, a student is required to get s minimum of 90% for each subject to continue enjoying the scholarship. That's just insane. Wonder can I live up to my own expectations?

Everyday, I'll put on my lovely headphones (belonged to my dearest brother) and get on with life. And next week I planned to skip all classes and study in insolation instead. Let's just hope that it would be good choice that I'm making. Wish me luck for my exams. Signing out now.

Daybreak's Bell

As I munch down 2 packet of instant noodles this Sunday morning, I can't help but to realize that I never ever live in the present, ie. pay attention to what was happening around me. Maybe I am self-centered ba. My friends were like a few tables away and I didn't realize that we were in the same shop, eating. Lolz.

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The sound of a school bell rang in my mind. Stimulating reminiscence.

T.T somehow I really miss my past life. Sleeping in class, playing video games, more sleeping and hanging out with my friends are all I've done in the past 5 years. Seriously. Yet, I regretted that I never treasured those moment. And now, as I force myself to study, only then I truly understand those blissful days and euphoric moments.

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Another case of verbal abuse. The last recorded incident was by my moral lecturer. This time it was a security guard on a motorbike. He scolded, "You think you're very smart huh, try to walk pass this gate when you couldn't pass through the 1st one". O.o I was rather shocked. But that being said, I was angry because he wouldn't even listen to my reasoning. I guess what people generally think of Malaysians is true: Malaysians are hard-headed, including me of course XD.

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Code Geass R2 has came to a finale. Epic plot, I would say. Probably it would become as good as Lord of the Ring (heck, these two are not even in the same catagory). Gundam Season 2 premiers today, 5pm in Japan. Awwww... but anyway, I guess I won't be trailing this series, not until the public exams are over. Here's a picture/spoiler that I found online.


My clock's alarm rang. I guess it's back to business. Adios.

Apologize

I know that I've been neglecting my family and my social responsibilities, but I'm sure it is a better option for a brighter future. Sacrificing a little for the moment is well worth it, at least I think so. So, what I wanna say is, I am sorry, mum and dad, for not spending time with you guys. I know I'm not piety, but I have to study too (in reality, I spend only 2 hours a day flipping the pages of my books). You all have to be proud with me. After all, no one actually seen me study in the past 11 years of mandatory education, right?

Another apology to a good friend of mine, Ivan, for not able to attend your b-day gathering this Saturday. Actually, I was hoping to have it earlier, but I guess I was being selfish and of all, inconsiderate. Just hope that you will understand my sincerity to celebrate your b-day with you. Do have a great time.

Rizal and my lovely neighbours, I am truly sorry for not visiting you all this Raya. Here, I would like to offer my wishes, Happy Raya, to you and every Malaysian who are celebrating too.

Friends in Kajang, I know that I have also been neglecting you all and not contact you all, but I know that you will understand and support me to be more successful in my academics. I ought to get a higher TER (Tertiary Entry Rank) to prove to you all that my hardwork pays off, am I right?

But in the end, the only thing I cannot forgive is myself. After all, I was the one who said I want to come back to college campus to study, yet I spend most of my time...

...sleeping...tired...need rest...

I need my rest. Long day ahead. As the Chinese proverb says, "rest to walk a longer journey". Goodnight.

Happy Sensation

I feels great to be happy, though it may not be right to feel happy at such a moment. Hey, my exams is less than two months' time away.

Sunday.

Type/edit report is the first thing I do in the morning. How pitiful. About 3pm, I ended up borrowing a laptop from a friend and played DOTA with my classmates. It sure feels fun to play with them, at least they would not act snobbish just because they are good at it. After finish playing PC games, next up was badminton. When everything have ended, it was already 11pm and here I am updating my blog.

Such happiness is something that I do not deserve, considering the amount of effort I pour into my studies... I'm lazy. My motto used to be "study hard, play harder:. Now it is "study smart, play hard". Can you really understand the difference?

I do feel sad because I've lost contact with many of my friends. I sincerely that they would have a happy life too. Friends are compared to an intersection point. They come and gone. But they would alter the choices that you would make and hence influencing you for the rest of your life. You hope to be remembered, just know that they do not need to be reminded of the same thing. So call now. Do not let these bypasses be goners.

World of Our Own

Seriously, I am very very happy, happy that my lecturer, who I shunned all these while and insulted in the school's forum, actually took the initiative to turn over a new leaf, leaving SAM students in a better piece of mind.

As mentioned in my last two posts, I expressed my unhappiness for this particular lecturer. Usually I would just ignore the situation. But who the hell know what have gotten into me that drove me up the wall and.... post the issue on the school's forum. Encouragement from my classmates was definitely one of the main factors that invoked my action. I was surprised by both the positive and the negative feedback on the issue. However, at the end of the day/issue, I was in for more surprise when Mr. Lecturer stopped being sarcastic in class. Though things do not occur as I have expected (I predicted the worst), but yea, I am really happy and glad that it turned out this way. Mr. Lecturer no longer try to burden us, but instead, he had shown a little compassion and comprehension for SAM March intake student.

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Had a great game of basketball last night. Surprisingly, it was just plain fun. I used to dread this sport, 'coz you know how my size relative to other player actually put me into total disadvantage, not to mentioned being knocked flying for countless times. Yet, last Friday's game with my classmates was so enjoyable that I forgot about my hunger (no wonder happiness is the ultimate objective for every action of humans) until a point where there is an acid-base imbalance in my tummy and ouch, gastric striked. It was already 8.30pm then. And I usually have my dinner by 7pm. If my tummy didn't stop me, I may have continue playing basketball with my classmates until 10pm?

More than 6 months since I quited my part time job.

Less than 2 months before SAM public exams

52 hours countdown to my Physics test.

At least 7 uncompleted assignments, partialy done, now lay waste in my computer.

1 objective of life:
Eat (waste resources), drink (again waste Earth's resources), sleep (waste time) and slack (do nothing = waste more time).

Have a Nice Day

Have a nice day, Mr. Lecturer, 'coz actions are to be taken.

I'll now embrace evil to defeat a greater evil who has been lurking in the corners of this educational institution and polluting the minds of youngsters with your incompetence to teach proper Moral Education. So long... and farewell.

Now, time ticks as the student governing body, INTIMA may (or may not) take appropriate actions. Countdown to a more moral society.

Pursuing My True Self

Many incident have occurred and I'll like to stress 2 unique events. One will show you the ugly face of the world, the other event would be more pleasant to the eyes and ears.

My lecturer for Moral subject used to be a person I look up upon, until today, where he finally shown his true colours. The situation was like this:

It happened in the lecturer hall. I was going to look for the attendance list, thinking that it might be in the lecturer's hands. Then my friend told me that it's with him. So, I quickly ran over to his position and put down my signature. Then I've noticed that I was recorded as absent for the last 2 lessons, even though I've put my signature on the list, just below my allocated row because my signature was a little out of size and could not fit into the columns provided. Hence, I went down to speak to the lecturer and reason with him.

Little did I know that my actions would change my life completely.

I was planning to enquire not only about my attendance, but also about the lecture notes, provided that my roommate gave me his, which was a little deviated from the newest version. Thus, I asked him...

Me: Sir, why did you record me absent when I have put down my signature?

Thangavelu: You didn't sign IN THE COLUMN.

Me: But sir, there's not enough space, my signature is rather big ma. After all, I'm the last one listed in this page, so I signed at the free space below my row.

Thangavelu: BUT YOU DIDN'T SIGN IN THE SPACE GIVEN. ASK INTI TO MAKE THE COLUMNS BIGGER LA. Why you sign so big? DO I NEED TO TEACH YOU HOW TO SIGN SMALLER? Hey Raymond, you see the boy here, he...

I ran out of their sights.

So this is an idiot who lectures to other on how to be a better person, and yet he couldn't even practice what he preaches? So this is a human who ask others to do reasoning before making decisions, yet he himself cannot comprehend simple rational facts and arguments? So this is the lecturer who is rumoured spending 2 minutes to mark an assignment, giving 1 mark per paragraph written? If Raymond Lee was in the same league with the likes of Thangavelu (which I do not doubt), then I'm sure that I should be condemn to the depths of hell for every day I looked upon these two person as my role models.

Now it's my turn to show my true self.

Yes, I won't curse the lecturer. I'm a person who can do better reasoning than a monkey with a lecturer ID (this is a successful example of packaging). I'll just blame his father for his incompetence to educate his son well. Damn you, Thangavelu.

For the second incident, I guess I'll keep in for another day. Below is a spoiler...

Like a Dream Come True

In the past three days break, I failed to live up to my resolutions yet again... another disastrous failure to be added to my book of records...

Day 1:
Woke up late in the morning and started the day in a terrible condition. While I was doing my essay for Biology, I was asked by my ex-classmates to go back to Kajang earlier. Met them and slacked around until night. Visited beloved grandma in the night who alleged was sleeping and that's the end of Day 1.

Day 2:
Had breakfast with dad. Finally able to indulge myself in a bowl of Tomyam Pan Mee. Then a short basketball + chatter session with my buddies. While I was really studying Chemistry in the afternoon, I soon gave up and fallen asleep... Went to Tesco in the night, only to meet my roommate and his family there. Haha... that's so much for that day.

Day 3:
I went to breakfast in Kajang marketplace again, then straight down to Midvalley to purchase a gift for a friend who is going to Taiwan to further his studies. Got him a golden colour tie. Exotic stuff. Then Sister Khoo contacted me. It was at that moment that I've knew that I've my memory mixed up again and ended up forgotten about the meeting time. Thank god my brother was being kind today and fetched me all the way to Country Heights. There, I've noticed that everyone had changed, for the better. Heck, Yuen Yin got herself a new hairlook. When it's finally over, I dashed back home and then to the commuter station. And I've realize that I've Physics quiz the very next day. Then there's English presentation. Formal dress code. Tonight is going to be a hell/swell.

Your Affection

Today, I had my first Moral class. Even though my roommate have always complained about him, I find him interesting. Or maybe it's sociology.

The lecturer criticized the breakfast that most Malaysian have are actually not nutritiousness at all. Then, he kept talking to a part where he spoke of rice, Asian's staple food contains carbohydrates and nothing else. Instead, he encouraged the non-Chinese to have better breakfast, such as a big bowl of noodle. Later, he continued on with a load of crap talk.

Then, it made me wonder...

Could it be that my dislike for rice make me cleverer?

Noodles and other protein-based food makes you better thinker?

My habit of looking down to the ground do not prove that I've lack of confidence, but instead shows that I'm a deep thinker?

Gotto cut the crap. The public exams are nearer than ever, and I have not done any preparation. Heck, I never do any sufficient preparation for any exams in my life. To tell you, I remember I was playing non-stop before my SPM trials. Only now that I know how important was it. So, what I want to say is...

Dear viewers, your feelings and affection for me (better be) will be my guiding light to the final lap of this race. And off I go dozing off in the classroom...

Zzzzzz...

Reasoning -another version-

I've found the word to describe my feelings. One word. Thick.

Thick, in the sense dumb, clueless, slow in catching what people said, not observant, not sensitive to other people, clumsy whatsoever.

I'm probably the thickest person you have ever meet. Is there a cure to this?

If stupidity did become a crime, then I may be top criminal no.2. No. 1 belongs to someone else, though I'm not sure who deserves the title.

Slow. It took me the whole day just to do 5-7 pages of report. Still got some to go.

Boring. Am I boring, or am I bored? I'm both to be exact.

Reasoning

I want reasonings! Only two days ago I was torn to choose between ex-schoolmates and present classmates. And today, things just turned out for the worst... I ended up stuck in my hostel room, all alone. Sigh...

Shocking as it is, my roommate came today along with another pal to grab some stuff. It's good to have some company, although I'm contented with the quiet environment in my hostel room.

Actually, I've already lost track of what I wanna expressed in this blog. I thought that this blog what meant for me to unleash all my inner thought, homework stress, social problems etc. Yet, I just forget my point once I on the computer. Short term memory lost syndrome. Contagious.

Give me some time to remember, won't you?

Pump It

Zzzz... I went back to college five days before classes continue. How I love the quite and serene environment, escaping from city lights and sounds (stupid dogs barking, idiots speeding on the highway near my house, granny nagging, etc.) Don't you agree with me?

Just received my examination results slip. To my surprise, mine was satisfactory. A couple of B's, a few A's, it's already out of my expectations. Is this luck? I doubt its all due to my effort. Seriously.

But I must not falter here, I tell myself. Gotto keep up the work right. English and Biology's assignments are undone... and I failed to adhere to my timetable to finish them up. Still, discipline is just not in my dictionary. I threw it away long ago, since the day I enter secondary school.

Furthermore, I am facing a problem. To choose between a reunion with ex-schoolmate or to go hang out with my current classmates, which one should I pick? Which is the better choice?

Argh.............

Angels & Demons

Here shall thy provide, food for the mind and soul:

To those of science, you have won the war (between science and religion).
Your victory is inevitable. Never has been as obvious as it is at this moment. Science is the new God.
Medicine, electronics communication, genetics manipulation... these are the miracles about which we now tell our children.
God has become obsolete.
But science's victory has cost every one of us deeply.
(Science) has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelenghts and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations.
...
Who is this God science?
What kind of God gives a child fire but does not warn the child of its dangers?
...
Show (camerlengo) proof there is a god, (men of science) say.
(Camerlengo) say use your telescopes to look into the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God?

(quoted from Dan Brown's Angels & Demons)


I find this book a total experience, experiencing both emotional and spiritual awakenings after coming to understand many of its content. I may still hold steadfast to my belief as a free-thinker, but I dared to say that my beliefs was swayed a little due to this wonderful book. Heck, this book makes a better movie that Da Vinci Code!

Still, I really admired the author for able to personalize an imaginary organization (Illuminati) as one of the greatest secret organization in his novel. I've always learned that Illuminati was not real, but his words made me doubt my beliefs. I ended up looking up these information from the net to re-confirm them. Haha...

Please

I was rather bitter when I saw my friend wrote "Please Study" on the back of his hands using a permanent marker. Boy, when he speaks of his hopes on his academic achievements, you won't think that he is hardworking whatsoever. The only thing in my mind was "Imagine a person who begs himself to study (when he seriously don't want to)."

I guess it's due to the semester final examination that was carried out this week. And with every paper done, the mood still not yet recover from the depression stigma that came along when we were cramming.

I don't study usually. So I am really proud to boast that I've spent at least 4 hours to study everyday for a straight 5 days. It's a miracle, consider that my laziness is something I boast about too. Yet, I see no improvements. In fact, I think it has adverse effects on my results and health instead.

Groan~ I didn't sleep for the past 26 hours and counting...

Only One

Imagine having to present your research study in front of a crowd... I bet many dread such situations.

Now imagine having to present thrice in a week... I repeat, three times in a week...

I've done presentation for 3 different subjects within the last week, which are Malaysian Studies, Mathematics Studies and Physics. I don't really afraid to present unless I didn't do any preparation. But in reality, I did little practice before each presentation.

For example, for math, I , who was somehow appointed as the group leader, suggested to the group to make the whole presentation to be sort of like a drama/play. Yeah, this idea did improve our score, but it was still inferior to the best presenting group, its members whom I know rather well. In fact, they are my ex-schoolmates.

Sigh, I just don't like to lose. "Kiasu" can actually helps to make someone to improve their efforts in carrying out a task, but I guess I'm just not good enough la. Gotto double my efforts, right?

And for Physics' presentation, I was thought as some angry guy who you wouldn't want to piss him off when he's concentrating. I agree on the fact that I wouldn't be aware of the surroundings when I truly am concentrating on a single task, but looking angry while presenting on a research study?

Just great.


Here's a snapshot of me and my classmates, or shall I say coursemates. I'm not evil-looking, right? Please tell me that. I cannot stand any negative criticism anymore. And yea, my tie is distorted. It's been a long time since I tied one, so you cannot blame me ma.

My attitude requires major changes, I know. But I'm just myself right? So guys and girls, please bear with me until I find the absolute remedy for my clumsy, arrogant, self-centered, pessimistic and other negative values.

First Time

One day, a friend drove all the way down to my college and asked me to accompany him. Since he made such an effort to get company, I just couldn't deny his sincere pleading, hence I went out with him. It was 2pm, a hot Saturday afternoon and little did I know that my plans for the weekends went all wrong (but not for the worse).

Just guess where we all ended up in: Genting Highland.


Then, the very next day, we went on the the planned occasion, a treasure hunt. When I asked him for the details, he said little. I should have know that he joined this treasure hunt to look for potential girlfriend and I was dragged along to accompany him in his hunt. Sigh...

So we went on and on to... Klang!


These poor monkey were seen to be left in a closed caged with zero freedom in a park in Klang (I couldn't really tell where was I, but I'm sure I was in Klang).


Oh, you can just imagine how I got myself in such a situation 'coz I don't know too. I made no preparations ( that's so unlike me, because I always pack my bag before going out) and went out empty handed. It was just a crazy weekend for me.

However, I must mention that I have other happier "first times". One particular event is where the both of us went to this lookout tower in Dusun Tua where the whole (most) of KL's beautiful night scene can be seen clearly.


The dinner I had at the lookout dinner. It may seem appetizing, but the price is not. So I recommend your all to go there for sightseeing (I don't know the way, but I would ask if anyone wanted to know).

Leave Out All The Rest

It's been a habit of mine to leave out all the discussion about tests, quizzes and exams until the teachers return our paper, no matter how sucky your results, how blank the papers are...

I had two tests earlier, and I planned to leave them out of my life, for the moment. Just hate how I always give up studying particularly at last minute to the exam.

Joy time! Had a better-than-usual dinner outside the campus, then movies streak...

Rather fed up with my own attitude. Gotto do something, which would result in nothing getting changed. Zzz... another waste of effort, or is it not? Life's short after all...

When You Believe

There can be miracles when u believe... neh...

Instead, all I got was distrust and misinterpretation when I state my stand on certain issues. Dog (god spelled backwards) just when will justice be served?

Either way, people just don't believe me when I said that I've forgot all about the Redang trip. Well, I went back home and went to numerous places such as Bukit Tinggi's Jusco (Did I mention that Jusco is as huge as Midvalley) and the Buddhist's Center's Food Fair in the weekends, came back to college and NEVER even mention about it. Yet people don't believe in me... how sad...

In fact, it was me pestering them to go for a roadtrip during the coming semester break. I foresee that the event will not go as planned.

Argh... more assignments due this week... more pain in the eyes, the neck and the ass... Another thing, did I tell you that I'm having lots and lots of extra classes this week? I have no complaints except for feeling hungry (I am always hungry indeed) but my classmates just couldn't hold back anymore. They are like, mobile suits on the precipice of pressing the self-detonation switch, which would go "KABOOM" in the nearest future. They just like to pull pranks, do they?

Public exam is just around the corner (say, 3 more months). I do believe I can succeed, but hopes and ability are two separate matters. I've failed once, better not fail again. That would totally ruin my high self-esteem, pride and reputation. I've not even mend my wounds from the last public exams yet. So Mr. Failure, stay away from me!

Lights and Sounds

A thousand apologies for not updating the blog for 2 weeks.

Neh, I'm not gonna give any excuse. I'm just lazy.

This week I went to donate blood. Surprisingly, I didn't really donate. In fact, after 10 minutes, the nurse just pull the "plug" and just ask me to rest after I complained that my arm was getting numb, with just a little loss of consciousness. Probably I don't have enough blood to give. Yet how come I was able to donate last year even when I WAS UNDERWEIGHT? (now I'm no longer so)

My assignments keep on piling, but I'll try my best to keep them away. Haha...

Oh yeah, there's this trip to Redang, organize by a classmate. I wonder should I join the trip? How am I going to fork out RM400 oh?

By the way, there will be fireworks performance today in the campus by AUP club. I'm going there soon. Bye for now...

Hope that you will enjoy the dusk, and the dawn.

Can't Fight the Moonlight

*Priestesses of the Moon, assemble!

For those who enjoy having a quiet and peaceful time under the bright moonlit night and the chilling breeze, you're welcome to join my league in promoting Nature Appreciation Day. Deng... what I am talking?

Argh.... I gotto double my efforts, or all time and money spent will be in vain. Semester examination is only a month away, not to mention the ever-piling assignments.

• Physics research study + presentation + viva session
• English research study + issue analysis + text production
• Biology test 2 + human awareness essay

Could the situation get any worse? Yep, it can...

Hurray! Semester break is coming. Looking forward to meet my friends during our small-scale secondary school class gathering. I bet everyone changed. It's shocking that I'm so indifferent as compared to years ago. Still same old brand new me.

This is How I Disappear

Sorry to all readers for not updating this blog for a long while. I seriously am sorry. It's not like I'm very, very busy, but it's just that I've terrible time management. What am I suppose to do about it?

Got myself Walkman earphones. It's like ice-cream for the ears, honey for the mind and soul. Where can inspring writers get their ideas without music? LOL!

Life is still good to go. I wonder whether I live up to my own and my parents expectations. I knew I'm not catching up with the pace of the lecturers, nor am I fully understand a subject's syllabus. Wonder how I even do my assignments. Pathetic me...

Anyway, I'm totally worn out.

Eh~ dunno what to tell you guys anymore~ coz' my brain couldn't think anymore~

Make a Sound

*Ooo...Oouuu..Ouch, ouch ouch!*

That's all I've heard and so impotent was I, seeing my friend scream (he was so strong that the didn't drop a tear at all) each time the van hit a speed bump on our way to the clinic. He dislocated his scapula/arm in a basketball game yesterday.

So me and my friends went to get help, and we got a kind lady who's willing to fetch us to the government's clinic, where he was bought to Seremban Hospital. Now we all wonder how's he gonna take his test this week.

Finished some of my lab reports, and there's plenty more to go.

Argh, kept on wasting time playing computer. Life has been a happy-go-lucky turnaround since last week. Better go study already.

Transection

Argh... more deja vú.. And more to go...

I'm been constantly experiencing lots of them lately. However, in reality, it all started on my first day in college. The whole foreign environment somehow just seems familiar and cozy to me, even though I do not know the campus well. Even the characters in my dreams, which I've came across during my early years in secondary school, are actually identical to my current classmates. Sounds strange? But this couldn't be coincidence, right?

Burgers vendors must have been very happy to see me. 'Coz I've having lots of burger this week. Two burgers before Physics lab which lasted until 8pm, and another on for my hardwork in completing my Biology summative report. One of my friend is so hungry for burger after I introduced him a burger stall, and he ended up dragging me for midnight supper most of the time. Damn him!

Midnight falls, and I'm still awake o. I miss my old life, where I can sleep till 10am. Here in college hostel, the birds woke me up before my alarm could ring. What can I do about it?

Party People... It's Friday Night

Under the moonlight and starlight, I joined my friends on last Wednesday's Street Party. Apparently, it's a charity activity to collect donation for some orphanage. However, I guess everyone just forget about the activity's motive and danced away, totally submerged in the rocking music.

My friends dragged my along, and I play along with them, dancing like I've never done so for almost an hour. Zzz...how come my determination is so weak? How come I'm easily persuaded?

And the very next day, we have a small birthday party for one of my classmate. Though he is in reality one year older than us, but age is not a factor when friends play together. Lol.

Now to mention, there is this friend studying abroad who suddenly sms me for a person's contact number. Rumours that this two fellow are a couple. Hmmn... this is rather fun, playing match-making, just like what my current classmates (SAM) doing in class.

Yesterday, during English lessons, we were asked to twist the lyrics of nursery rhymes. I was really amazed by the creativity of many. Mine, modified from 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' is as follow:

Naughty, naughty BB
Went to CC's room.
Out came DD and
they fought on the floor.
CC kissed BB and
BB felt happy
Finally the story is
CC loves BB

(names used in the lyrics are changed to ensure the privacy of the victims)

Hot

I don't mean that I'm hot. It's the weather.

It have not rained for many days, causing the scorching earth to seek for water to quench her thirst. And we living beings are the one to bear the consequences.

Actually I had many thing in mind to spit it all out. However, I've forgotten almost all. Wait till I recall my forgotten memories, then I'll make a new post.

Cheers to those who have just started their tertiary education. Good luck in the roads ahead and way beyond.

What Makes a Man

Thanks for the meal, Sister Khoo. It was one of the best in my entire life. I have a long and enlightening conversation with her throughout the afternoon. And I also can remember how the grilled chicken with rosemary sauce taste along with the aromatic smell of peppermint tea. An unforgettable experience in The Curve in which I'll remember for a lifetime.

To show my gratitude, I'm going to work real hard to achieve better results. And other members of Ananda class also gotto work hard too! I really regret that I was unable to spend last Sunday with you guys. Have to go back to campus to study for the upcoming Physics quiz. Urgh... Physics...

Been to Midvalley to check out an art exhibition on my way back from Damansara. The artpieces aroused me to continue to involve in the field of art. I really admired those able to draw so well. I want a Wacom Tablet! Kidchan, an rising manga artist demonstrated at the exhibition. I could only watch her live performance with amazement.

Now I've also realize how much my parents loved me. My mum even baked bread so that I can bring to college... Dad kept on asking whether I've enough money to spend.. Where else can you find such loving parents like mine? Yet, it's really hard to tell them "I love you", even though it is Mother's Day. What a failure I am as a guy...

Killing week to be continue with Chemistry quiz and English assignment... Here I come!

The Call

Incoming calls.

Alex, tonight go 'mamak' and meet up.
I'm a little tired, pal. Just came home half an hour ago and you ask me to go 'yamcha' now?
So long no see each other already. Just come please.
...let me have my dinner 1st. See you in half an hour.

Siang Ming, let's go karaoke. I'll drive you there.
But, B is not going...
Please don't ruin the fun and refuse. Don't mind the others
...ok. Let's go lo.

Siang Ming, let's go yamcha.
Ok, but I gotto be back early. Are you sure it will end early?
No idea. I'm going to your house now to pick you up withing 10 minutes. See you then.
...Ummn. See you later.

The examples above are calls that change my life altogether, at least for the weekends. Aiya, sometimes it's not that I don't wanna participate, but I can't seem to refuse invitations to activities. Don't wanna let you guys down, but...

This is so ambiguous, my feelings that is.

Lost My Music

When I lose my music, I lose my momentum to do stuff.

And now without the internet (server down for past 2 days), how am I able to finish my Physics study outline, which I am suppose to pass up before the weekend?

I wanted to pass up my English assignment one day before the due date, only to get a slap in the face: "You did it all wrong! Go correct it". I corrected and reprint once before and now I have to redo? What the hell!

No stamina and concentration to continue posting... too tired...

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to you
You're born in the zoo
There are tigers and lions
And the monkeys love you!

Yeah, I'm now 18!

Lol. At such an age, I shouldn't be very happy about getting old anymore. After all, birthday signifies how you are losing your youth. So better treasure them for as long as possible.

I'll be back for the weekend. I was industrious on Labour Day, finishing my English assignments. Not much of a holiday for me. Haha... It's Mother Day soon and my family is going to celebrate it with my grandma. She juz got up of sickbed and I bet everyone hopes to see her.

To admit, the true reason for me to go back home is to have a nice meal. The food here in Nilai is expensive if you want something nice to eat, but cheap only if you wanna eat to live. Do bear in mind that your taste buds are going to suffer.

Stop and Stare

It's the first day of class for the 2nd semester, and my lovely Biology teacher got the whole class stopped talking and started staring at me, saying how serious I was in class, and how I am setting an example. Oh please...

Anyway, I drew a picture of an Super Deformed (SD) version of me... Take a look:

Where was I again? Oh, I wonder why would others think that I'm good at Physics. In fact, I think it is my worst subject. Ridiculous...

Last Man on the Moon

Besides me, I couldn't see anyone in my hostel block after 12pm. I've a feeling that I'm all alone. But that's not too bad. After all, everyone would need a proportional time spent together and in isolation.

The impotent accommodation office and their officers really pissed my off. Today, when I went there to inquire about when should I check out. I was totally shocked to find out that I've to check out today. Furthermore, I was told to move all my stuff to my new room by 6pm today. Having 2 hours to move my stuff (I was typing this post until 3pm and my bus departs at 5.15pm), I guess I've gotto solve this problem all by myself. There's no one here who would be able to help me. I feel like crying.

So off I go to carry my desktop, books (plenty of them) and everything else. Gonna take a photo of this room before I leave today...

The Great Escape

Well, I'm delighted to say that I have a week long holiday, until the 27th of March. That's a great relief to all the stress I'm been put to. However, I'll only be back home on 21st because I would like to stay back to study a little. I'm not diligent enough compared to other peers of mine, so please don't say I'm hardworking. I was playing Counterstrike all night yesterday, even though it was so boring. What a waste of time.

My presentation was so-so. Many classmates were better off, especially Merilyn, who studied in America for a period. I really envied her having the chance to further study abroad in a field she love. Guess I've really gotto brush up my speaking skills. Or else, my reputation as Bananaman（香蕉人） might be tarnished severely. I shouldn't have told my peers that I hate being a Chinese.

I've just realize my right eye swelled. I knew my eye started to hurt since Thursday, but I was unable to determine the cause to the pain until I woke up this morning and noticed that my eye is a little swollen. Wonder does the pain has anything to do with staying up late?

Yea, I finally able to watch Code Geass Season 2. It was not bad la. However, I'm not sure whether I'm gonna chase the anime series. After all, my studies are not that easy as compared to secondary school. As I speak, there's a pile of revision books beside my desktop. I don't really think I can finish chewing Physics by Monday evening. Still, I have to give in my best effort. Or else, I'll disappoint everyone.

So, this means that I'll have more free time to daydream, a little exercise, more books to digest, more shopping for groceries, and maybe sometime to spare practice drawing in my home-sweet-home.

Ocean Avenue

A classmate copied my quiz answers and I got punished too, got my score halfed. Sigh... if I had prevented him from doing so, then both of us wouldn't have to end up this way...

Anyway, I'm having my semester test. I guess I'm okay (with the results), but I don't dare to say I'll stand out. Life is still stressful for me.

Shifting to a new environment next semester. A smaller room, but I guess I really need a change in environment. Life is tough. I robbed my family off their sole PC for my use in college. I'm so selfish... >.<

I now call myself and my peers SS, which meant Serious SAM, or Seriously Self Abusing Maniacs. Hey, this would a perfect theme for our T-shirt, if we would ever have one...

The only non-academic thing in my mind is the lyric of Ocean Avenue:

There's a place over Ocean Avenue
Where I used to sit and talk with you
We're both sixteen and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night...

Except for the fact that I slept during certain classes, particularly Maths and Chemistry whereas I did stay up pulling an all-nighter to study for this week's test. All for the wrong reasons.

By the way, did I mention that my current Maths teacher resembles my secondary one, from the way they speak, walk, voice tone, height, etc. Wonder what makes their voices so hypnotising?

Never Be The Same Again

Sorry for failing to post last weekend. Very busy now that my course has taken a full swing.

Fall Apart

Gonna make this post a quick one.

I came home for the holiday (just one day). Current living in INTI's in-campus hostel, Block E, which stands for Einstein. Great study environment. I bet I could at least juice out 3 hours of study period every weekend. The only thing that annoys me is that the opposite block have their common area's light on and guess what: all these light are directed to my bed. Couldn't really sleep well for the beginning 3 days. Here's a snapshot of the place.

It's quite cozy actually... You could just sleep all day in the room, or maybe not: It gets really hot in the afternoon, especially about 2pm.

The food is very costly. I cannot believe that I've spent at least RM12 on food everyday. Now that's a blow to my almost-empty wallet. Did bring some biscuit to college, but I almost finish them. Hey, just because I'm short and small in size doesn't make me a small eater. You could be surprised how much I can eat.

I guess I might break down during Semester 2 or 3, about June to October. From the teacher, I know that my workload is killing and the hours of lectures and laboratory work for a week is a whole 36 hours. That's no joke, pal!

Loads of coursework coming right up. Better be preparing for the 1st wave. So long for now!

Right Side of the Bed

Guess what, I've registered for INTI's SAM (South Australian Matriculation) course today. My parents drove all the way down to Nilai and completed the enrollment procedure. Even after a rebate of 5k, it's still gonna cost 8k! I was really happy that my parents are forking out money for my education. I do really hope that their investment in me won't go to waste... and instead, would bring them a better life in the future, if I'm capable of doing so.

Still, I've just got my SPM results yesterday. Waited almost 2 hours for it. Got a so-so results. Didn't expect myself to be able to get better results because I didn't really study hard for it. Each time I started revising, I would fall asleep after flipping through 20+ pages. The only thing that's surprised me was an A1 for Chinese Literature, or commonly known as KC. I guess the God of Luck was on my side as everyone knows that I totally hate, hate, hate that subject.

I will be staying at INTI's hostel for the next 28 weeks, I assume. Hence, I won't be able to update my blog daily like I used to during this 2 weeks holidays. as they always said, a gain is often accompanied by a lost.

I fear I won't be able to wake up in time, as I have classes as early as 8 am on weekdays, or maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and feeling blue and moody and restless for the whole day. Pray that that wouldn't happen often! As for assignment, I afraid I won't be able to copy or refer others' assignments (I really thank my high school's classmates for allowing me to copy their homework, 'coz I often forgot to do mine).

Wish me luck in my studies!

Dirty

I almost ate a fly.

There was a fly in my spring roll which I had for lunch. It was concealed beneath some pork, a few strips of carrot, some celery... I won't show you the photo. It would totally ruin your appetite, no matter what will you be having for your meal. Believe me, once you saw the wing of an insect in the food you are having...

The waitress even joked with me. She said, 'Think of it as an extra ingredient or a side dish and just consume it' and grinned. I knew she was just joking but I felt insulted. In the end, I didn't get any compensation and still payed for the meal.

So, don't have economic rice for lunch if you are eating anywhere in Bukit Mewah's numerous restaurants. (cannot remember the name of the shop, but I'm sure it's a corner lot)

After that, I kill time by watch an anime series and two movies: Bruce Almighty and its sequel, Evan Almighty. Great comedies to inspire my writing career, if I would ever have one.

Alright, I'll be heading to a 'yamcha' session outside Metro Point shopping mall. Better hope others won't be absent. There are a few notorious friends of mine who always failed to turn up every time, hence I'm all prepared for such a situation.

Ciao! So long for now!

Resolutions

I have made many, many resolutions. And I've failed to keep to any of them. I vowed not to drink fizzy drinks, yet I only came to realize my mistake after draining cans of 100 Plus at a friend's house. I pleaded abstinence from instant noodles, only to consume a cup of instant noodles on the very next day at a 7-11 convenience shop before heading for my driving test.

I knew resolutions were made to be kept. I'm a little ashamed to say that so far, I've kept to none of my resolutions. SPM would be the best case study for my failure. Promised to study, yet I was busy pawning monster and leveling in Final Fantasy 12.

I wanna learn drawing, yet I quit an art class after 3 months when I was aged 14, giving a lame reason: I don't like to colour, I just want to learn how to sketch. Pathetic me...

Now, I would like to make a new resolution, to study real hard, so that I'll be able to further studies overseas with a scholarship. Neh, it's not like I was hoping for JPA's scholarship or something, but I still wanna get some kind of education fund, whether it's overseas or not. And to my friends, please guide me to meet my goals.

That means less going out 'yamcha', less movies, less alcohol, less time blog-ing, less MSN chatting and in the other hand, more time spent revising my studies.

Oh yah, there will be some sort of class gathering in the coming Monday, said to be organised by Agent H and A (Classmates, be mentally prepared for any changes in the plan). Wonder will it even take place? Still, I really hope to see my classmates, for we have not met often since December 4. Hope to see you there.

Here's a class photo:

Truely Madly Deeply

I guess I'm a little into Gundam plastic models. After all, not everyone will take the commuters to Bandar Tasik Selatan, interchange to LRT to Bukit Jalil, then walk half a kilometer to a rather quiet shopping mall, all in the name of registering for a model assembling competition which will be held on the 15th. Yea, there's no one like me and that makes me the odd one out, again.

Either way, I guess I'll spend the rest of my holiday slacking at home, killing off time by mashing my PS2 controller's button. But hell yea, I cannot spend the whole afternoon killing civilians in Grand Theft Auto. So now, any suggestions? I'll be glad to listen to your words of advice.

I've tried to cram a book of 'Building PC for Dummies' but it doesn't seemed to get into my empty mind. ESL (English as Second Language Studies) model papers are left all over my table, untouched.

Hey, what should I do?

Last Man on the Moon

It really makes me wonder why my friends never seemed to actually accompany me out each time I've asked them to go to The Golden Triangle or even maybe just downtown KL. Even though I know it's a little costly, taking public transport there...

But haven't I always agree to go out with you guys (and girls), no matter how busy I used to be. Now that I've quit my job, I really hope that I'm able to enjoy this two-weeks-long holiday to the fullest. And I want your company just for a moment. Is that too much to ask for?

Never mind me. I guess I still can go there alone. I guess I have always been a loner. Always, now and ever, just like the last man on Earth...

Colors

Urgh... SPM results will be out on the 12th! I'm a little ambivalent about the event, given that I've not done well in that public examination.

Hooray, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2 will be out in April! But I'm a little afraid that I won't have the time to chase the series. After all, classes for SAM (March intake) would be from 8am to 6pm. That's what I call a hectic school life.


Even with my small wages, I can't afford to buy a jacket costing RM40! Gotto borrow money from friend to buy it. Pathetic me! I guess I really need that jacket 'coz I'll be riding my dad's motorbike until I get my P license next week. My pockets and wallet have been really empty. Now, how am I going to go out 'yamcha' with my pals?

My friend was planning to share a twin-sharing hostel room in INTI. I ws really happy when he said I was honest and kind. That's the highest compliment I could have ever wish for. But I'm afraid I won't be able to control my terrible temper and stubborn self. I'm sure these bad qualities would chase anyone, including my die-hard friends away. Happy that my family was able to tolerate them.

Anyway, do anyone have a 'Manga for Dummies'? I really wanna take part in a manga-drawing competition, but I don't have the capability to draw one. Sigh.. Guess I could just rot off for the week...

Independence Day

I felt like I just got my freedom, my independence when I passed my driving test. Seriously, I thought I would have to keep re-sit the driving test. I was so afraid that I would not be able to get my P license before my L license expire. Phew, now I was relieved of my worry.

Still, there's SPM results which will be out soon, rumour indicating 13th of March. I pray that I get enough A's for a merit scholarship. Or else, I wonder how are my parents and I be able to bear the financial burden of my tertiary studies. I getting so anxious and unrest.

By the way, I quit my job. And I'm happy about it. C'mon, you all gotto be happy for me. After all, it took me a lot of courage to say to my boss, "I wanna quit. I'm going to further studies in SCIENCE!!" Hahahaha... I bet he was a little mad when I told him I'm not gonna do distant studies with him. (The company whom I work for offers BBA-Bachelor in Business Administration via distant studies, limited to employees of the company only)

So, I guess it's goodbye to fanatic workplace politics and hello to college life!

Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over

I'm a failure. A total failure.

I've failed to drive properly, and I wonder why did I sign up for the driving test in the 1st place. Guess I won't be able to get my license in the near future, at least not another year.

Damn, could it be due to all the Burnout game that I've played that made me a terrible, reckless and dangerous driver, unable to control a 4-wheeled machine?

I couldn't even convince my dad that I'm able to control the steering, not to mention getting my driving license. Guess I'll be hanging out with the Fall Out Boys for the moment.

P.S: Fall Out Boys sang the song Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over for the game Burnout 3: Takedown

Mass Destruction

Gundam F91. I bought it for merely RM65. Still, RM65 for a mass of plastic. Worth it? U decide.

I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

I don't wanna miss a thing, not one bit.

I felt like being felt out during this festive season. Even though I just went to The Mines to watch movie yesterday (CJ7 is not money-worth at all), I still feel kinda bored, at least for today. Well, I did learn something new yesterday: a new bus route (U41) to Bandar Sg. Long. And with just RM2, I took bus from The Mines to Sg. Long, then back to Kajang. Well, it was risky though. None of us (my friends and I) know how to go to Sg. Long via public transport, except for taking a cab. I was on the verge of quit waiting for the bus and submit to the cab driver.

Arrgh... My red packet collecting streak has ended. Battle report as follows:

Day 1: 9
Day 2: 7
Day3: 3
Day 4: 0

Mission failed.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

It's Chinese New Year, and I'm angry with myself for saying this: I'm so bored!

I've felt that my neighbourhood have become a little more than a boulevard in a corner of a city, filled with hidden despair, unhappiness and furiousness. And it's all behind the shade of the festive seasons and the hot weather (or maybe it's just me who felt this way).

It's not like I'm spoiling the festive mood. Sorry if you feel that way.

It's strange for me to think that I'm in a race, competing to see who have the most number of angpau (and certainly not the most amount of money collected) throughout the Chinese New Year.

My aim for the year-50 red packets! I'm gonna do all I can to reach my aim, and no one (but the terrible weather) can stop me! Hahahaha~

Please

Oh god, please save me from my boss and my tormenting job!
(I'm a self-proclaimed atheist, by the way...)

I wanna quit by 17/2, but my boss was like ," Can you PLEASE continue until end of the month?" You know how I have a soft spot for people who use THAT VOICE TONE. Hence, I submitted to his begging. And I'm regretting about it every minute.

But as they say, everything has a cause and effect. Only time will tell that it's gonna be for the better. Only time will time. Oh please, spare me the bad news!

No One

Out of boredom, I'm gonna post one more time for the day. Yup, 2 posting for today. But first, let me have a snack (I only tasted one of these ONCE).


The trees here, around my neighbourhood are shredding their leaves, making it looks like autumn, even though it's impossible, b'coz it is located close to the Equator. The view was breathtaking. I'm sure that it will be engraved in my consciousness for as long as possible, at least I have a chance to experience fall in foreign countries. Until that day arrives...

Too bad I couldn't take a snapshot of the magnificent scenery, I was hurrying to my workplace. If I happened to get a candid photo of the view, I will repost, this time with a photo.

Now here's a poor snapshot of a portion of the scenery:



My only regret now is I wasn't able to share the great view with others. I bet no one was able to notice the beauty of nature. That's natural. After all, who else would look at the moon, stars and clouds in the night, observing the changes daily, appreciate their beauty and take notice of their insignificant presence.

Is my presence as insignificant as a faint star in the dark night, having no one to notice my existence?

One Step Closer

Yesterday, I went fishing with my friends. It was a not-quite-fun experience. Why would I say so? B'coz I failed to fish anything out of the big pond, killed all of our fishing baits by stepping on them (it's cruel, isn't it?), while one of my friend, lew was all so professional, fishing out a big fish from the pond after another, and another, and another...

My clumsiness and foolishness... what am I gonna do without them? Lot's of stuff, pal! I wouldn't be such a geek, maybe I would have even get myself a girlfriend... (just kidding!)

We had a simple dinner at a mamak stall in Kajang after the fishing trip. God, I felt so tired at that moment. After all, I played basketball with my friends (the same clique though) in the morning... Hey, I do have less stamina compare to them, 'kay?

Still, I was thrilled for being able to be close to trees, shrubs, water, but not animals! I have always felt that animals should be allowed to run free in the wild, and not locked in cages, fences or surrounded by walls, just like an old saying, "天生天养".

And guess what, I get to know my friends better, not to mention I was one step closer to the Mother Nature that I loved since I was young...

Memories of You

Some of my friends might already know who I secretly liked during high school, or maybe not. (For those who know, please don't spread it out or I swear I'm gonna kick your ass!) Anyway, I do wonder how she's doing?

It's been almost 2 months since I graduated from high school, currently an unemployed person, minus out my part-time job which tortured and exploited me horribly. Hence, I advice you all not to work for that tuition centre. Trust me, you'll regret...

Anywhere, I've alway been think of HER. Sigh, will I be able to see her, before my diminishing memories of her fade away? Awww, I had this urge to create this post after a friend of mine told me of his encounter with his secret lover. It turned out tragically. I do understand his feelings though.

Will my feelings for a secret lover burn off eventually, without any residue? Will I fall for another person, only to be as miserable as now?

Raison D'etre

Raison D'etre means reason of being (not reason FOR being). It's a French word which is used for the ending song title for a Japanese animation, Chobits.

I have been listening to that song since I was Form 2, all thanks to my neighbour's influence. When I read the meaning of the word in the newspaper, the word was buried deep in my memories, never to be forgotten, forever.

Now that I have graduated, I've been thinking what's my justification for living in this world. Be as rich as Bill Gates? Change the world? Leave amazing artwork pieces behind after my death?

While I was teaching tuition, I reread the poem "Life Brief Candle" by Shakespeare. It got me thinking, a dusty death awaits for us all at the end of our life, no matter who you are and where you're from. So, what separates an individual from another since we are all gonna end up the same way?

I'll have everyone thinking about their Raison D'etre too, for life only goes by once. There's no second chance.