Your Affection

Today, I had my first Moral class. Even though my roommate have always complained about him, I find him interesting. Or maybe it's sociology.

The lecturer criticized the breakfast that most Malaysian have are actually not nutritiousness at all. Then, he kept talking to a part where he spoke of rice, Asian's staple food contains carbohydrates and nothing else. Instead, he encouraged the non-Chinese to have better breakfast, such as a big bowl of noodle. Later, he continued on with a load of crap talk.

Then, it made me wonder...

Could it be that my dislike for rice make me cleverer?

Noodles and other protein-based food makes you better thinker?

My habit of looking down to the ground do not prove that I've lack of confidence, but instead shows that I'm a deep thinker?

Gotto cut the crap. The public exams are nearer than ever, and I have not done any preparation. Heck, I never do any sufficient preparation for any exams in my life. To tell you, I remember I was playing non-stop before my SPM trials. Only now that I know how important was it. So, what I want to say is...

Dear viewers, your feelings and affection for me (better be) will be my guiding light to the final lap of this race. And off I go dozing off in the classroom...

Zzzzzz...

Reasoning -another version-

I've found the word to describe my feelings. One word. Thick.

Thick, in the sense dumb, clueless, slow in catching what people said, not observant, not sensitive to other people, clumsy whatsoever.

I'm probably the thickest person you have ever meet. Is there a cure to this?

If stupidity did become a crime, then I may be top criminal no.2. No. 1 belongs to someone else, though I'm not sure who deserves the title.

Slow. It took me the whole day just to do 5-7 pages of report. Still got some to go.

Boring. Am I boring, or am I bored? I'm both to be exact.

Reasoning

I want reasonings! Only two days ago I was torn to choose between ex-schoolmates and present classmates. And today, things just turned out for the worst... I ended up stuck in my hostel room, all alone. Sigh...

Shocking as it is, my roommate came today along with another pal to grab some stuff. It's good to have some company, although I'm contented with the quiet environment in my hostel room.

Actually, I've already lost track of what I wanna expressed in this blog. I thought that this blog what meant for me to unleash all my inner thought, homework stress, social problems etc. Yet, I just forget my point once I on the computer. Short term memory lost syndrome. Contagious.

Give me some time to remember, won't you?

Pump It

Zzzz... I went back to college five days before classes continue. How I love the quite and serene environment, escaping from city lights and sounds (stupid dogs barking, idiots speeding on the highway near my house, granny nagging, etc.) Don't you agree with me?

Just received my examination results slip. To my surprise, mine was satisfactory. A couple of B's, a few A's, it's already out of my expectations. Is this luck? I doubt its all due to my effort. Seriously.

But I must not falter here, I tell myself. Gotto keep up the work right. English and Biology's assignments are undone... and I failed to adhere to my timetable to finish them up. Still, discipline is just not in my dictionary. I threw it away long ago, since the day I enter secondary school.

Furthermore, I am facing a problem. To choose between a reunion with ex-schoolmate or to go hang out with my current classmates, which one should I pick? Which is the better choice?

Argh.............

Angels & Demons

Here shall thy provide, food for the mind and soul:

To those of science, you have won the war (between science and religion).
Your victory is inevitable. Never has been as obvious as it is at this moment. Science is the new God.
Medicine, electronics communication, genetics manipulation... these are the miracles about which we now tell our children.
God has become obsolete.
But science's victory has cost every one of us deeply.
(Science) has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelenghts and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations.
...
Who is this God science?
What kind of God gives a child fire but does not warn the child of its dangers?
...
Show (camerlengo) proof there is a god, (men of science) say.
(Camerlengo) say use your telescopes to look into the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God?

(quoted from Dan Brown's Angels & Demons)


I find this book a total experience, experiencing both emotional and spiritual awakenings after coming to understand many of its content. I may still hold steadfast to my belief as a free-thinker, but I dared to say that my beliefs was swayed a little due to this wonderful book. Heck, this book makes a better movie that Da Vinci Code!

Still, I really admired the author for able to personalize an imaginary organization (Illuminati) as one of the greatest secret organization in his novel. I've always learned that Illuminati was not real, but his words made me doubt my beliefs. I ended up looking up these information from the net to re-confirm them. Haha...

Please

I was rather bitter when I saw my friend wrote "Please Study" on the back of his hands using a permanent marker. Boy, when he speaks of his hopes on his academic achievements, you won't think that he is hardworking whatsoever. The only thing in my mind was "Imagine a person who begs himself to study (when he seriously don't want to)."

I guess it's due to the semester final examination that was carried out this week. And with every paper done, the mood still not yet recover from the depression stigma that came along when we were cramming.

I don't study usually. So I am really proud to boast that I've spent at least 4 hours to study everyday for a straight 5 days. It's a miracle, consider that my laziness is something I boast about too. Yet, I see no improvements. In fact, I think it has adverse effects on my results and health instead.

Groan~ I didn't sleep for the past 26 hours and counting...

Only One

Imagine having to present your research study in front of a crowd... I bet many dread such situations.

Now imagine having to present thrice in a week... I repeat, three times in a week...

I've done presentation for 3 different subjects within the last week, which are Malaysian Studies, Mathematics Studies and Physics. I don't really afraid to present unless I didn't do any preparation. But in reality, I did little practice before each presentation.

For example, for math, I , who was somehow appointed as the group leader, suggested to the group to make the whole presentation to be sort of like a drama/play. Yeah, this idea did improve our score, but it was still inferior to the best presenting group, its members whom I know rather well. In fact, they are my ex-schoolmates.

Sigh, I just don't like to lose. "Kiasu" can actually helps to make someone to improve their efforts in carrying out a task, but I guess I'm just not good enough la. Gotto double my efforts, right?

And for Physics' presentation, I was thought as some angry guy who you wouldn't want to piss him off when he's concentrating. I agree on the fact that I wouldn't be aware of the surroundings when I truly am concentrating on a single task, but looking angry while presenting on a research study?

Just great.


Here's a snapshot of me and my classmates, or shall I say coursemates. I'm not evil-looking, right? Please tell me that. I cannot stand any negative criticism anymore. And yea, my tie is distorted. It's been a long time since I tied one, so you cannot blame me ma.

My attitude requires major changes, I know. But I'm just myself right? So guys and girls, please bear with me until I find the absolute remedy for my clumsy, arrogant, self-centered, pessimistic and other negative values.