Hello, Laughter

for a socially awkward person
i have always believed that the pen is mightier than the sword
and writing gave me more time to consider the implications of my words
- speech never offer the opportunity of fine-tuning



but then again, i'm not being realistic

the world is ruled by a system of simple majority
that is the true nature of society
- a complicated system of humans
who tried to protect themselves
by setting up some form of social order

thus, for someone who have issue with talking to people
the world is a cruel place for me
but solitary life is difficult as well
it pains me not being able to share my joy and suffering with someone else
- where's that soulmate that I've been searching for so long?

my rants for today stemmed from my personal reflection
after all, it's a new year
and as for all beginnings, there is an end
as 2012 came to an end, i tried to evaluate myself:
my personality, attitude and social interactions
my achievements, actions as well as thoughts

• personality - stubborn, pessimistic, self-centered
• attitude - arrogant, blunt, lazy, contented with status quo
• social interaction -  can't even successfully organize an outing with friends
• health status - low blood pressure, high cholesterol, coupled with hyperhidrosis
• physical endurance - very poor, cannot finish 5km marathon
• money - little, not enough to buy a car
• willpower - tiny as a pea, easily persuaded to give up
• assembling Gunpla models - did a poor job, crude workmanship
• photography - lack of commitment, lots of backlogged photo to edit
• video games - used gameFAQ.com to finish most games
• cosplay - need to make better props, still do not know how to style wig
• studies - haven't decide on a topic for research, no funds and connection
• Japanese mastery - no improvement since uni introductory course

perhaps that all the many reasons for my to cry to sleep alone at night
well, goodnight for now
*sobs