DOGFIGHT

It's been more than 2 weeks since I've last posted. Well, I know I was wrong for not updating. Been killing time doing... practically nothing. That's why I say my life is meaningless. I just dunno what was I doing all this while, these 18 years...

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Firstly, right after the exams, me and my classmates went to Genting Highlands for a 3D2N trip. You could tell that I was forced to go. Come on, a person who has minor acrophobia and has little interest in thrilling rides would have no reasons to go up there, right? But then again, since ALMOST all of the clique was going, so I guess I better go. Peer pressure. The main factor that cause delinquency.

Other than the cable car ride, I cannot seem to justify why was I here. Seriously I was dead bored. Imagine how boring was I that I was walking and exploring the place at 4am in the morning. Furthermore, I spent at least 8 hours of solitude, walking all alone even though there was 12 of us in Genting.

Oh yea, for the very first time, I actually ate without paying. Although Genting Cooperation maybe extremely rich, but I feel a little guilty for sneaking into the dining area without paying. Xp

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Oh yea, I went to PD last week. Well, the seawater looked less polluted as compared to the past. But there was something that happened which I think I should say it out loud. You see, my friend caught two fishes from the sea and wanted to bring back home. However, only after half an hour, the fishes have already died and I was asked to throw them out of the car window. Soon after that, we realized that we took the wrong way (old way) and we ended up traveling another 2 hours just to get back to Kajang. I seriously felt afraid... well, mainly because it was dark, I killed two lives and we cannot exactly determine where we were. Luckily we made it back to Kajang in one piece and I managed to attend my friend's b-day party, though I was an hour late. XD
I wanna upload photos on the sea that I loved, the nature that I like to embrace, yet my phone seems to disapprove my action. It doesn't let the computer to read its data. Selfish, isn't it?

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And this wednesday, us SAM student had a barbeque party. The worst part was it rained from 8pm to 12am. So technically we BBQ under the rain. Though it wasn't pleasant at all, but I am sure that it was the best BBQ party I had under the RAIN. =.=
The funny part is that some of our lecturers attended the party, only to get drenched, partially because of the rain, but mostly due to water balloons, I strongly suspect. The scene looked more like a dogfight than a BBQ party. Totally horrible, unbearable. And guess who do all the cleaning up. Me, again. At least this time I'm not alone. My friends (some) did their part too.

Another surprising fact is on how all the participants, both students and lecturers actually behaved on the event, makes me wonder have I really know these people. Gosh, their true colours are just too HORRIFYING for me to bear and watch, so I ended up continue to BBQ in the comfort of my 'safety zone'. Hey, there are even freeloaders that stop in my personal space for protection from the water attack of others, causing me to get wet too :(

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So, off I go rushing my Moral assignments. I really wanna plagarize, but that would totally go against my principle. I bet I would not be able to sleep peacefully if I were to do so. Anyway, now that I've done 2 assignments, I still need to rush another 3. Yet, the due date for all assignments is today. I'm really awed by the fact that we SAM March intake student are extremely good at procastination, particularly delaying our assignments. Xd

Photograph

Whoever invented the (digital) camera is making my life miserable. I hate cameras. There are always there when you don't wanna get recorded for doing something shameful. And it's not available when you want something memorable to be recorded. Photogenic or not, that is another factor to consider when there is an image recorder present.

And so my classmates just kept taking photos after our final public exam paper. Yes, SAM course is officially over (but not for all though). I sure feel relieved now that the exam pressure have disappear. But there is something that intrigues me. Most of us SAM students have not had their lunch and have to bear with their roaring (I really meant roaring) stomachs during the 3 hour and 10 minutes period. Yet, when the exams over, none of them seemed to be hungry anymore. I do guess extreme joy can really ease all sufferings, including empty stomach. Too bad I can never feel the same. Pessimistic me.

Guess now I can do whatsoever I want, but I most probably do what other youths do with their long-term holidays-- rot at home. Yea, I've no idea how I'm gonna spend my holidays. There's this camp that needs facilitators, ComicFiesta2008 in Sunway and also the Genting trip this weekend. There goes my holiday, not to mention the (virtually) piling MPW assignments. No rest, but there's more work. Is this what you call a holiday!?

I'm Yours

After my English exam, I felt as if all of my hopes and dreams have been shattered to pieces and the undertaker is already at the doorstep of my hostel's room. I've just blew up my chances, if there was any in the first place, to get a better exam score. I know that I shouldn't be so materialistic or pessimistic, but in reality, I have really ruin all the opportunities that were given to me, all in one shot. This is just pathetic.

I didn't get the ASEAN scholarship, neither was I offered any other incentives to further study. The world's economy is down and Obama just made the news headlines (what Obama has to do with your degree course?). Either way, I'm now back at the crossroads again, only this time, I do not have any worthy qualifications to boost my chances for a better future. Heck, is this something I should be worried about?

I guess I better off be studying for my Chemistry and Biology paper, right? I must have been thinking a little too far. All the pressure have been driving my up the wall. I gotto stop thinking such nuisance and just focus on my current aim in scoring SAM. Well, I'm better off so.

Hidden Track

Do you guys know that there's only 10 days to the beginning of my public exams, which gonna last approximately 2 weeks. It's been very, very tough on me. I don't usually study... yet peer pressure is driving me up the wall. I can find no peace except in my dreamland. This is just too much for me to bear.

I've learnt the I need to achieve 99% TER to get full scholarship from Monash. Shocking! This adds so much more to the burden I'm having already. Furthermore, a student is required to get s minimum of 90% for each subject to continue enjoying the scholarship. That's just insane. Wonder can I live up to my own expectations?

Everyday, I'll put on my lovely headphones (belonged to my dearest brother) and get on with life. And next week I planned to skip all classes and study in insolation instead. Let's just hope that it would be good choice that I'm making. Wish me luck for my exams. Signing out now.

Daybreak's Bell

As I munch down 2 packet of instant noodles this Sunday morning, I can't help but to realize that I never ever live in the present, ie. pay attention to what was happening around me. Maybe I am self-centered ba. My friends were like a few tables away and I didn't realize that we were in the same shop, eating. Lolz.

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The sound of a school bell rang in my mind. Stimulating reminiscence.

T.T somehow I really miss my past life. Sleeping in class, playing video games, more sleeping and hanging out with my friends are all I've done in the past 5 years. Seriously. Yet, I regretted that I never treasured those moment. And now, as I force myself to study, only then I truly understand those blissful days and euphoric moments.

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Another case of verbal abuse. The last recorded incident was by my moral lecturer. This time it was a security guard on a motorbike. He scolded, "You think you're very smart huh, try to walk pass this gate when you couldn't pass through the 1st one". O.o I was rather shocked. But that being said, I was angry because he wouldn't even listen to my reasoning. I guess what people generally think of Malaysians is true: Malaysians are hard-headed, including me of course XD.

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Code Geass R2 has came to a finale. Epic plot, I would say. Probably it would become as good as Lord of the Ring (heck, these two are not even in the same catagory). Gundam Season 2 premiers today, 5pm in Japan. Awwww... but anyway, I guess I won't be trailing this series, not until the public exams are over. Here's a picture/spoiler that I found online.


My clock's alarm rang. I guess it's back to business. Adios.

Apologize

I know that I've been neglecting my family and my social responsibilities, but I'm sure it is a better option for a brighter future. Sacrificing a little for the moment is well worth it, at least I think so. So, what I wanna say is, I am sorry, mum and dad, for not spending time with you guys. I know I'm not piety, but I have to study too (in reality, I spend only 2 hours a day flipping the pages of my books). You all have to be proud with me. After all, no one actually seen me study in the past 11 years of mandatory education, right?

Another apology to a good friend of mine, Ivan, for not able to attend your b-day gathering this Saturday. Actually, I was hoping to have it earlier, but I guess I was being selfish and of all, inconsiderate. Just hope that you will understand my sincerity to celebrate your b-day with you. Do have a great time.

Rizal and my lovely neighbours, I am truly sorry for not visiting you all this Raya. Here, I would like to offer my wishes, Happy Raya, to you and every Malaysian who are celebrating too.

Friends in Kajang, I know that I have also been neglecting you all and not contact you all, but I know that you will understand and support me to be more successful in my academics. I ought to get a higher TER (Tertiary Entry Rank) to prove to you all that my hardwork pays off, am I right?

But in the end, the only thing I cannot forgive is myself. After all, I was the one who said I want to come back to college campus to study, yet I spend most of my time...

...sleeping...tired...need rest...

I need my rest. Long day ahead. As the Chinese proverb says, "rest to walk a longer journey". Goodnight.

Happy Sensation

I feels great to be happy, though it may not be right to feel happy at such a moment. Hey, my exams is less than two months' time away.

Sunday.

Type/edit report is the first thing I do in the morning. How pitiful. About 3pm, I ended up borrowing a laptop from a friend and played DOTA with my classmates. It sure feels fun to play with them, at least they would not act snobbish just because they are good at it. After finish playing PC games, next up was badminton. When everything have ended, it was already 11pm and here I am updating my blog.

Such happiness is something that I do not deserve, considering the amount of effort I pour into my studies... I'm lazy. My motto used to be "study hard, play harder:. Now it is "study smart, play hard". Can you really understand the difference?

I do feel sad because I've lost contact with many of my friends. I sincerely that they would have a happy life too. Friends are compared to an intersection point. They come and gone. But they would alter the choices that you would make and hence influencing you for the rest of your life. You hope to be remembered, just know that they do not need to be reminded of the same thing. So call now. Do not let these bypasses be goners.